Milk, Science, and Stupidity

Friends of mine know that I have a knack for psuedo-scientific pursuits. As a child, I thought myself an inventor. When I became an adult, this pursuit manifested itself as a no-holds-barred attempt at improving life, one bad idea at a time. This usually involved a lack of safety combined with a dedicated ignorance of warning labels.

In college, I applied caulking to my hair as a permanent solution to 'bed-head'. It worked for about a month, until  my hair grew and the caulking painfully continued to do its job. Several years later, a friend and I had the great idea of merging a 'potato cannon' and the rocket launcher from the Halo series. That project never went past research & development when the 'butane combustion canisters' (read: empty Coke cans filled with lighter fluid) set his hand on fire (Sorry, Matt. I'm sure you'll regain feeling in your hand one day).

With this in mind, I endeavored --for science!-- to see how long milk would last past its expiration date. I can assure you, my motivation included none of the following:

-laziness to buy new milk
-being a cheapskate and refusing to waste milk
-having a decent story to blog about

Here's the purely accurate chart I drew: