A Christian Defense for Gay Marriage, Part III

(This is Part Three of the series. To start from the beginning, click here)


III. The Church's Response to Homosexuality (Is the Church Responding to Sin Correctly?)


Let's assume, for a moment, that the Evangelical outlook on homosexuality is incontestable. That the Bible unambiguously condemns gay rights. If the Church's current approach of restricting gay rights is aimed at making a more Christian nation, I believe it's failing-- and the reason is consistency.


My favorite way to demonstrate this is to talk of gluttony. In terms of sin, both gluttony and homosexuality are exchangeable by Biblical standards. Both are considered a 'choice'. Both sins affect the soul and the body. Both sins are on the rise in America, and arguably affect marriage (certainly the effects of obesity affect marriage-- unhealthy parents that die prematurely aren't around for the sanctity of their marriages). 


In fact, the Bible is clear as day in how to handle gluttony: 
Proverbs 23:2, put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony


It doesn't get any clearer than that. Yet the church has remained mostly silent on the growing obesity epidemic in America. Pastors do not keep obese church members from leading choirs. Church membership does not include a waist line analysis. Schools do not prevent overweight kids from forming groups like they have LGBT kids. Why is this? How are two very similar sins treated so dissimilar? 


Therein lies the issue. Even if the Evangelical outlook on homosexuality was correct, their treatment of it has destroyed their authority on it. If a sin is a sin, as Evangelicals fall back on, how can they discuss gay rights over a high-calorie church luncheon?

IV. The Church and the Law (Will You Please Not Bring Up Separation of Church and State Again?)


My final argument for gay marriage rests in how we make laws. Note that I won't bring up the 'separation of church and state'. While there's certainly merit to the argument, telling a Christian that their religious views aren't relevant to lawmaking isn't particularly compelling. That said, there certainly is danger to codifying religious beliefs.


Evangelicals fear gay marriage will destroy the 'sanctity of marriage'. We've already broken down how that simply isn't the case, but let's discuss the logic of DOMA and state constitutional bans. 


Christians fundamentally believe that only Jesus can bring salvation. If this is the case, then no other religion is true. So why aren't Christians relegating the rights of other religions? Certainly a gay couple (who, by definition can't reproduce), will spawn less non-Christians than the Jewish couple down the street. Yet we do not prevent Jews from getting married. We do not prevent Muslims from visiting each other in the hospital. Why? Because the rights of others trumps the religious views of the majority. And certainly a country where people choose to be Christian produces more faithful followers.


That's why, even if homosexuality is Biblically wrong, Christians have no place preventing their marriages. We cannot become a theocracy. We do so at our peril. If Muslims became a majority, would Christians defend their right to instill Sharia law? I certainly hope not.


Conclusion


My goal with these posts is to encourage Christians to rethink their position on gay marriage. We are picking a losing fight in these nonsensical 'culture wars', and our hypocrisy is being exposed. Regardless of one's personal opinions of gay rights, restricting the real and tangible rights of others is resulting in a backlash the church cannot handle.

A Christian Defense for Gay Marriage, Part II

I. The Bible and Homosexuality (Is the Bible That Clear About Homosexuality?)


Let me start with a question to Evangelicals. Where can I find in the Bible that homosexuality is wrong? You know the Bible talks about it, but tell me the verses. No, don't google it. Off the top of your head.


Sodom and Gomorrah, maybe? Anything?


That should be the first concern Evangelicals have. If you're willing to restrict the real and tangible rights of others because the Bible says so, then you ought to have a mental list on cue of why. Not knowing is an embarrassment. 


Let's take it a step further: look up the verses, and ask yourself, "Is this really talking about two men or women desiring marriage? Or something else?" Lots of Evangelicals point to Sodom for proof of God's wrath towards gays. I question if a town's worth of men breaking into a house to gang rape angels is fundamentally the same as two women spending decades of life together.  And most verses break down the same way. Many sites, books and articles analyze these passages better than I do here, so I won't. Here's a great link. 


The challenge I'm posting here is a rather simple one: does the Bible damn homosexuality as easily as NOM says it does? I don't think so. Evangelicals simply cannot assume the Bible is so clear. And if the Bible isn't so clear on homosexuality, are Evangelicals willing to set policy on it?




II. 'The Sanctity of Marriage' (Marriage Has Always Been One Man and One Woman?)

As a Christian, I struggle with the 'sanctity of marriage'. It was a term developed to combat gay marriage, but what the heck does it mean?! And how does enabling gay marriage denigrate it? As far as I can tell, the 'sanctity of marriage' means marriage between one man, and one woman.


The typical response I've heard looks something like this: "Britney Spears got a 72 hour marriage. Rush Limbaugh has had several. Straight people are destroying marriage, why can't we have it?" While the question posted is rational, it's always felt hollow to me. Making a broken system... broker... doesn't justify gay marriage.


So let's go back to the Bible. Jesus married a woman, right? David, the man after God's own heart, didn't he only had one wife too? Of course there is Solomon, the wisest man ever. Didn't he only have one wife? Obviously the answers are no, no, and no. Major characters in the Bible did not adhere to 'one man, one woman'. So how is this definition Biblical?


Straight people have expanded the definition of marriage throughout history. Women were once property, but are now treated as equals in marriage. Isn't this a fundamental shift? Marriage used to be arranged, following the logic that marriage was for mutual benefit and child rearing. Yet we consider love to be an integral aspect of marriage now. Sounds like a fundamental shift in definition to me. The argument that gays are fundamentally altering marriage is false.


One final thought. If Evangelicals are truly concerned about the 'sanctity of marriage', then keeping gays out is a queer (pun!) place to start. It's truly damaging to the sanctity argument that constitutional bans against gay marriage pass, but ones banning divorce are never proposed.

A Christian Defense for Gay Marriage, Part I

INTRODUCTION

Earlier today an Evangelical friend questioned my support of gay marriage as a Christian. This came at the end of a rather long facebook dialog about Christian anti-gay activities, gay rights activists  and the role the church has played in gay rights.

 The part of the dialog that troubled me the most was seeing how the Christians and gay activists addressed each other. My Christian friends defended themselves against accusations of supporting hate groups. I can easily see the gay rights' remarks coming off as self-righteous. At the same time, these are a disenfranchised group. They cannot marry the person they love (and enjoy the thousands of federal and state benefits attached to marriage), largely in part of Evangelical America. How could they not be angry?

Unfortunately, I bet both sides simply end more resolute in their beliefs. This is a loosing fight for both parties. An opportunity missed.

This is the motivation behind explaining why I support gay marriage. We need to change the dialog. The Christians fall back to Bible verses that activists' simply don't believe in. The activists's respond with mockery and decrying 'hate'. This isn't productive.

Here's the plan. I've got a four-prong defense of gay marriage tailor suited to Christians:

I. The Bible and Homosexuality (Is the Bible That Clear About Homosexuality?) (I and II here)
II. 'The Sanctity of Marriage' (Marriage Has Always Been One Man and One Woman?)
III. The Church's Response to Homosexuality (Is the Church Responding to Sin Correctly?)
IV. The Church and the Law (Will You Please Not Bring Up Separation of Church and State Again?) (III and IV here)

If you think I'm relevant, pass my blog around to your friends. The self-righteousness of both groups (yes, both) needs to end. While unfair, changing hearts and minds of Christians requires patience on the part of gay rights activists. It requires challenging basic assumptions and creating dialog, not insults, hate, and martyrdom. There is room for both gay marriage and faithful Christians.